𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖘 𝕭𝖔𝖔k 𝕮𝖑𝖚𝖇

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At the beginning of the year, I laid out a New Year's resolution list and set out to achieve as many as I could. One of them was to read every book that was currently collecting dust on my bookshelf. Seeing as I haven’t read anything since February, I decided to set aside some time and power through my collection. To return from my hiatus, I had to pick a book obviously. I thought, “Which one should I choose to get me back into the groove of things?”

I chose Twilight. And now I don’t feel like reading anything ever again.

Sure, I wasn’t expecting anything great, but I was expecting something of SUBSTANCE. Hardly anything, whether it be the characters or the lore, left an imprint on me. It didn’t help that it was hyper focused on one of the most poorly thought out protagonists I’ve seen in awhile. I know we’re supposed to relate to Bella; the outcast struggling to fit in, living uneventful day to uneventful day. But that’s the cool thing about writing, you can take these otherwise boring aspects and turn them into something that doesn’t make me constantly flip through the pages to see how much longer I have to go until the next chapter. So much in this book made me think, “Why is this here? Why did I need to know all of this unneeded detail?” It’s all filler to compensate. And to make matters worse, every other piece of dialogue of Bella’s CANNOT go without speaking of Edwards incredibly perfect face and body, his angelic complexion, his melodic voice, how he’s literally descended from God's. Thanks, I think I got that the first 500 times you spoke of them. Clearly Bella’s character struck a chord with so many individual’s, but even me being in the exact same predicaments as her, I guess I’m one of the few that couldn’t be bothered. Speaking of things that struck a chord...

I assume that anyone reading this is familiar with the movie more than they are with the novel, and are more than familiar with what a character Edward is (or should at least know about the comically intense hatred Robert Pattinson has for him) Now imagine that, but 50 times more dreadful. That’s book Edward. I’m impressed they were able to tone down the cockiness, over possessiveness, controlling personality the way they did in the movie. You think it couldn’t get any worse than that. I don’t think there was any part of this that made me genuinely big mad more than Edward and Bella’s dynamic. I fail to remember a time in which he doesn’t slip some sort of mental cock tease during what is supposed to be an intimate moment between him and Bella, because it always ends with him making an unnecessarily snide remark about her in some way. Bella could be on the verge of some sort of mental breakdown and Edward would butt in nonchalantly with, “Wow, you look like a dumpster fire.” And Bella’s just a straight up sadomasochist. “Edward said I looked like roadkill. I can’t get over how perfect he is.” I know I’m talking a lot about how these two are both individually and together, because it’s kind of the most prominent part of the story. It’s all so jarring.

I feel like I could say a lot more about this book, and I can, but for the sake of me having to relay information about it that I can barely even remember, I’ll spare everyone with a final consensus to pass on this one. I’m glad I don’t have any obligation to read the rest of the series. But the legacy of vampires will forever be tainted.

ps. rosalie was right.

Leaving so soon?